blingee again
It is wednessdag and I am only now emerging from this very depressing weekend.
Stiffla and Will moved out this weekend and it seemed to me that Will was the only one taking it in his stride, the rest of us painted a rather odd picture as the missfits slipt into their farious coping mechanisms.
I naturally got angry and shouted at people like I do when I have to deal with any uncomfortable or uncommon situation, Stiffla, having never experienced sadness in his life before stood around staring into space like an onld bull buffalo who had been in the tall grass too long, Poffie got sad as he does and pretended the sky was falling on him, Durka remained the calm voice of reason while the Captian attached himself to a bottle of rum.
It was knock I admit it but we are coming through it. And we will be fine, all of us have to adjust to new things.
Will has gotten back together with the Piglett and he will be adjusting to being part of a whole in stead of be part of an ass holl,
Stiffla is bein a batchelor in the full sense of the world and has found that there are woman in the world who are attracted to his unpolished obnoxious veniere.
Hes getting a whole helluva lot of help fom me.
I am more than happy to give him this help because I am cowering away from that I now live alone
ALONE
ALONE
Alone without a lounge suite TV unit and fridge I might add.
My lack of household comforts is a result of another whole long storie that I dont care to relate now, the point is though that I have a bare empty lounge with nothing to sit on but a cold floor that holds nothing but the unthinkable prospects of piles.
Being single is nothing like I thought it would be. Instead of wanting male attention I find myself wanting to tell them to go get stuffed so I can spend all my money on my car.
Imagine that.
I have signed onto a few new forums joined some facebook groups and am back to reading the SNS from cover to cover. This is the real Lee I think and I like her a lot more that the mothering wifey type.
I imagine that its because I never ever had the chance to be the irresponsible youth that most people have. I was kid then I was an adult.
My money had gaps to fill from the day I left school and boosing and boosting became those far off things to me.
THAT IS GOING TO CHANGE by this time next year I intend to ahev a few SPL blings to adorn my mantel, even if I dont have a mantel.
Naturally the pics will be posted up here I am so snap happy after all.
Completely off topic.
The other thing about being single is the fact that all relationships are new now and I am a sceptic, convinced that love doesnt last longer than two weeks and that in the end no matter how hard you try your gonna hate one another and you are gonna slip into a rut.
I can handle all this but what I dread with every fibre in my being is meeting the family. It doesnt matter what way I look at this situation it sucks, its painfull because regardless of wether you like these new people you want them to like you. Its like being strapped to a dentists chair waiting for your teeth to be ripped out of your skull.
Why am I pretending like this is something you want to hear.
Well because this is my blog and I am allowed to vent! this weekend I am meeting Batmans brother (I will tell you about Batman later)
Batman is a crafty bugger. I had been aware that this visit would be taking place this weekend however it was not till after I had agreed that I found out that this visit would span over two days and a night.
Thus far I have stood in the middle of the road without being hit by anything other than a gust of wind that blew my skirt up. I have tried to chew my wrists off but found that I lack the apitite for Lee Sushi, I have gone shopping for a microwave that goes with the door open but had no luck and was caught by the jump captain when I tried to loosen the knot in the bunjee cord.
Unless I come down with the flesh eating virus, swallow my cat or fall into a pot hole before friday I am doomed to do two of the most unthinkable things, either tel Batty that i really dont want to go or chicken out and actually go. Either way I doubt that the flimsy string that holds this relationship up can shoulder the strain.
I am single now so I reserve the right to sulk and feel sorry for myself besides I havent blogged in such a long time that I doubt anybody reads this shit
Yesterday I had a moment of weaknes. I had a tiney bitch fit about something that I knew would sort itself out. These are the last convultions of a dieing life. They will soon pass and like most things that die soon I will only remember the things that help me heal.
Stiffla has been going though the death throughs aswel… this whole situation has changed the man so much I barely recognise him. Hes become fliry and loving as apposed to the fridged shit stirer I delt with. Hes letting the romance into his life and I believe enjoying it too.
Hes my friend and I will always always love him, that is why I would like to share something with you.
This morning when I signed onto msn an ofline message was waiting for me .
Stiffla had writen me a poem:
Strength of day, Strenght of night.
Give us strength beyond our sight
I know it’s difficult, for me and her.
I know she’s got pain, but so do I
I will always love her, I dont know why.
O strenght of day, Strenght of night.
Give her strenght, beyond her sight.
I know she is strong, She always been
I know she kind, but sometimes mean
I will always love her, it makes me cry
O strenght of day, Strenght of night
Give me strenght, beyond my sight
I know I can be cruel, It makes me sick
But we will always be friends, and we’ll always click
I will always love her, no matter what
I’ll always be there for her, till life takes it’s cut
The devorce settlement
It is becoming imperitave that I either locate the textbook on clean and effortless breakups or one of those microwaves that workes while the doors are open.
having a moment or two for reflection has made me see exactly how “not cool” this breakup is. We are trying too hard to be nice to one another and there is a huge fight looming about who gets to keep which friends and what becomes of the social structure we have developed.
The last few weeks have been my time to get used to the idee that I am single, that Stiffla and I are no longer, and that I should consider where to from here.
I was just getting used to the idee that marige and mundane bliss is not for me when the next issue popped up.
It seems my few weeks of solitude (that I thought would give stiff a chance to get ofer it) have made our friends think that I had abandonned them.
Now I am not considered when plans are made nor am I even invited… and I am completely fucking upset about it.
I neva play for anybodies attention ever, and I wont do it now. but I am starting to realise that perhaps I really just was the “Hulle” at the end of “DeWet Hulle” a lowly variable that can be changed as the mood changes.
I know that the people I am entertaining now are simply flights of the moment and will evapoprate soon enough, but I had kinna hoped that 4 weekends away from the people I considered my friends would not desolve me.
am I an idiot am I wanting to have my cake and eat it or am I really being fucked over
Virgin Ground
I haven’t seen you guys in a while but adjusting to the changes in my life have been keeping me rather busy. I can without a doubt say that this breakup has been the most difficult one I have been through yet, I am unaccustomed to breakups that don’t end hatred and tantrums and thus I am in uncharted waters. Wanting to keep the person close while needing to push them away a bit leaves things hanging in the thick atmosphere that now suffocates our whole entire home.
Stiffla and Will will be moving soon as the wierdness grows every day and we have decided that it would be best for all involved.
I am fully single again and trying to get used to the idee and the attention that comes with being on the prowel again.
I have never been very good at staying single so this time around I have set myself very strickt rules and you wont see this hunny rushing into anything new, no co-habitation untill Im engaged and since I am very anty marage at the moment I wouldnt be worried at all.
Stiff on the other hand is doing very well, I think he’s falling for a chick and he got some good snogging on Saturday night, all be it not with the same chick.
Will is still single, and seemingly content to be so. he has however spent endless thumb numbing hours on MXIT with a lolita that we will just cal Nicki. recently hes gotten very cagy about the details so I can only presume that things are going well.
Soon I will be thinking up good dates for the boys to take their girls while I hang out at home with my cats.
Either way this is me on Virgin Ground, Single, for the first time in more than 5 years.
I promise to blog it all as I have a gap
My Tarrot card reading …
Howzit guys….
I know, I know. It’s been a helleva long time since I posted …….. anything. I’m back from a weeks leave which I sat at home for some R&R and I’m back today doing nothing for now and I can’t go home cause I have an apointment at 13:00….
Ok, so back to the topic at hand. Some time ago I did my tarrot reading and got some confusing content if I can call it that. 1ST of all, I read that my relationship with Lee will come to an end, which did as all of you know. 2nd of all the reading said I will be very succesful in my carreer which I very chuffed with.
The 3rd one was my problem. I still live with Lee and on the plot. Her family is like my family. I do not wat to move away as I have endless joys there. Yesterday night, I couldn’t sleep, so I switch on my laptop and log on. I check my email and notice a name I do not know and it’s coming from my company but from the US of A. Shocked to see this I though I’ve done something wrong but that was nothing compared to what I saw when I opened my mail. The guys from IBM US saw my cv online and wants to do an online interview with me. That’s right. I may just be moving to the US. What is scary about this fact is that my cards revealed that I may move internationaly….
Anyway… We will se what happens in time … I’ll keep you guys posted…
Stiffla
So heres an update that is gonna make your head spin.
Since I last saw you guys much has happened
Th biggest being the fact that Stiff and I decided to call it quits. we didnt fight and we are still best friends but we realised that our relationship lacked spark and that we may aswell get out before we start fighting
The second being that both Stiffla and I got our first tattoos on Saturday and Sunday. Angel is proud of me I can tel. It wasnt almost as painfull as I would have thought it would be and I would definitly do it again. Stiffla got a pentacle on his chest that looks like the neclace I got him for christmas and I got a humming bird on my back… Johan used to call me suikerbekkie so the tatt is apt it looks like the one in the pic only mine has no color.
And the third is a confession.
I think I am a smoker
I am not proud of this but atmitting it is half way to recovery, it was the hubbly I swear it, thats how the cravings started, now I smoke when I drive and when I socialise its terrible!
Proudly pagan
Ladies and Gents I am a pagan!
If you feel you can’t be my friend because of that please leave now cos you’re screwing with my chakras.
This is not as silly as it sounds.
Today a friend of mine was rejected by an acquaintance because he was not a Christian.
The acquaintance spoke of his religious views like it was a shameful thing, phrases like “what would your parents say” and “look at what the wrong kind of friends do to you” were flung around.
Now well it is her prerogative and right to befriend who ever she likes, it is the closed minded bigotry that drives me straight up the wall.
This is a person who sits in church every Sunday and listens to the preacher speak of gods love for all creatures and then turns around and does exactly the opposite.
Love thy neighbor but only if they go to your church worship your god and share your views.
I am sorry people but this is why I am glad I am a pagan.
Years of being burnt at the steak tortured and driven underground have taught us humility instead of the smug self righteous holier than though air with which we are still rejected today.
We accept all and promote questioning minds instead of oppressing them our bodies truly are our temples and we are not ashamed of them
I am a pagan, I am a pagan I believe in my own power and the influence nature and the abstract have on me.
I am a Pagan and I am proud of it.
Below I have added the code of principals for pagans as set out by the pagan council of South-africa. They are principals we should all strive to embody
• We acknowledge equality of the sexes and should therefore not regard one above the other. We accept both the male and female nature of the Divine.
• We should honour those who teach and acknowledge those who have given themselves in leadership to the revival and advancement of Paganism.
• We should avoid gossip and the repetition of unverified facts, and avoid passing judgment on others. We should not promote a spirit of animosity towards other religious paths. Ours should be a spirit of forthrightness and a lack of guile.
• Honour is a sacred virtue. Let our actions be upright, causing harm to none. We should at all costs, avoid deceit, exploitation of others, fraud, violence, theft, abusive behaviour, and any form of action deemed detrimental to society.
• We believe in religious freedom and should therefore be tolerant and accepting of other Pagan and non-Pagan spiritualities and religions.
• We should remain true to our highest selves and strive to act with wisdom and strive never to do anything that would bring our religion and spirituality into disrepute.
• We should be honest with others and let them know that we expect nothing less from them. Our word should be our bond.
• Pagans should strive to obey the just laws of the land and its government. Pagans should reject any concept of divinely prescribed law that regulates the behaviour of humans other than the restriction of harming the environment and all sentient beings.
• Pagans should strive to act with dignity. Let our words, thoughts and actions be in line with our philosophy of life, respect and reverence towards all.
Pagans should be open-minded, liberal, think progressively and be non-judgmental.
• A Pagan should practice virtue, tolerance and forbearance, strive for beauty, liberty and inner freedom, as well as towards excellence in all things. Pagans should practice deliberation, directness and act in a civilized and humane manner, always demonstrating empathy for others.
• As Pagans we accept the immanent nature of the Divine and reject any notion of a transcendent Creator. Pagans should strive for the abolishment of the traditional Western distinction between magic and religion. Paganism is a mystery religion and its essence lies in the creative performance of ritual. It is both an eclectic and a protean Path. Pagans should aim at being close to the Gods and to understand the proximity of the Divine.
• As Pagans reserve the right to preserve our cultural and Pagan heritage and traditions in the form of rituals, doctrines, practices, garb, paraphernalia and
religious holy days.
• As Pagans we believe that service to humanity and the environment is service to the Gods.
The blog is slowly becoming something that I can be proud of. Renamed Hotpants and Hang-up’s and given a new look I hope to be able to give it alot of attention soon.
I am having some other problems too that I cant totally discuss now but I am hoping that soon these will be sorted out too… this is a big issue and while I would love to vent I cant
I am however going to ask you to go have a listen to Within temptation… they are one of my new favs and dang do they look so hot 
It would sound like a complaint if I told you that this week was soooo short, so I am not gonna say it. While I am extatic that the weekend is just outside the door I am rather worried about the fact that I am struggling to finish everything that needs to be finished.
I hate the driving its a waste of time in my opinion and I just dont have the patience needed to deal with Taxi’s. damn I hate Taxi’s I wish someone would outlaw them….. but thats just me.
You have probably noticed that I have not gotten around to everybodies blogs yet and for that I am truely sorry but duty calls and I never get to read a whole post between phone and cellphone cals and the general mad rush tha is my life right now.
But I do enjoy your comments though… I had such a good laugh at the thought of our Sweets sitting around drawing on her toes…
Just a short update sothat everybody is up to date: Will is no longer with Pigglet…the boy is playing the field again and though its sad to say, he is happier than ever.
I am not getting married, possibly ever, its a dumb idee and the though of it simply suffocates me… I am sure this is why I was totlly unable to plan the damn thing. so thats that then. Stiffla and I have not yet discussed the way forward but we will at some point I suppose.
Gym is working for me again, and last night a friend of ours moved from his gym to ours and swore to make Will buff if it kills him. after a short demonstration last night I doubt that my friend is the one who needs to live in fear of death but rather Will.
I am going to be taking before Pictures tonight and I fully intend posting his progress and any other embarrising details that may occure along the way up here very soon. 
The picture above is my pic of the week. its called “decorative pair and hope to give you a link to the artist’s page very soon sothat you can enjoy his other workds aswel.
I love this one and the rest are just as good!
