angry_cow.jpgIf I were to exhaust my vocabulary on the matter I would lack the capacity to adequately explain to you how incredibly pissed of I am right now.

My blood is boiling and I have reached the point where I am starting to yell at random people who happen upon my path.

Your rolling your eyes I can tell, sighing something about Lee being pissed again so all is right with the world but you fail to realize the severity of the situation….

I am so pissed that I would gladly spawn children and live the life of a kept woman just to escape the aggravation I suffer at the hands of clients who need to be spoon-fed every single minute detail and people who need someone breathing down their fucking necks before they show any signs of intelligent life inhabiting the sorry Shell of a human being.

I am of the persuasion that they were hired purely on pulsrate as I am yet to see any further merit to their pathetic attempt at corporate….corporate…shit corporate anything!

I am losing business through no fault of my own, I am stuck in my office doing admin because of the pre-potty-training clients, and the worst of it is the fact that I know that no amount of bitching will help the situation regardless of who I bitch too.

Am I alone here!

I swear come tomorrow I am applying for a passport. I intend moving to the states to go and live in one of those deliberate societies where people live like the Amish just without the bibles and abstanace (I couldn’t live without nookie-nookie). No income tax, to pay for ESKOMS  fuckups and the smear campaign that masks the ANC’s absolute inability to run a country… No traffic jams and potholes… no zero bank balances and debit orders to give me sleepless nights… nobody to fuckup a business relationship you spent six months building… NO BANKS!

On the other hand there are no stilettos and no blogs among the bush wacking tree hugging plebs and I seriously doubt that my addiction to coffee and hubbly-bubbly will be met with anything other than pitch forks and a burning stake….maybe I can negotiate the hubbly.

If anybody is looking to employ I am a great marketing consultant and an amazing admin person….better than most let me tell you that…. I am fluent in English, Afrikaans and bullshit. I learn fast and manage people like a Sergent major (just look at Stiffla and Will).

I also have a PULS if that helps…..

Oh by the way Will pased his learners permit test. Now he needs an apointment for the drivers again but I believe he has more pressing matters to think about. he may fill you in on it in a few weeks time… NO I havent sold him into slavery yet (I havent had the time and quite frankly I cant find a slaver with such low standards)

My new office is providing lots of peace and quite especially since my new anti virus has several objections to MSN and will not run the thing despite my most ambitios efforts. However the truck load of shit that needs to be tended to is sucking the fun out of having my own space.

I have no money, for the first time in my life this is a positive thing as I cannot afford the tools required for my preferred methods of committing suicide. I have tried and my microwave wont run with my head in it and I have made very little progress on slitting my pulses using a butter knife (shogun is expensive) chainsaw enemas require petrol and since inflation and the beloved giants in Opec decided to up the profile of the precious commodity from a necessity to a luxury item I can no longer afford to fuel the chainsaw. I tried jumping from a bridge to but a pothole in the N12 swallowed me and I had to pay for a plain ticket to get home from china.

It seems I will have to delay testing my reincarnation theory until April at witch point my focus will probably have shifted from suicide to homicide.


~ by nosjunkie on March 26, 2008.

6 Responses to “”

  1. Oh Boy do you sound pissed off! hee hee, funny post though! Sometimes, infact most of the time, I feel the same way! Yay for Will for passing his learners!

  2. Lee, haven’t you figured it out yet? They want YOU to do it for them and then take the credit for being so enterprising. I have a friend that recently quit a job in which one of her many bosses boasted that her (boss) role was that of a work creator-not a work doer (and here I always thought that creating more work for others to do was a bad thing. Silly me.)

  3. Clients are like that everywhere. They just want to have you around more. Try selling them more.

  4. ooh lee… i am so sorry they’re all driving you so barmy!!! please don’t turn into a tree hugger, i enjoy your blog way too much!!!

  5. damn
    some ass head sure got your panties in a bunch!
    I wnder if everyones butthole puckered when u called chainsaw enema?

    Good Luck!

  6. oh lee that was brilliant… i’m sorry but it was!

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