It pays

Stiffla and I have been together for close to a year now. We live together and are the proud parents of two spoilt cats.
But when it comes to financial arrangements we don’t let love and emotion cloud better judgements.
All our joint expenses are split right down the middle, we share costs such as rent, groceries and utilities.
Each of us are responsible for our personal costs such as medical aids and petrol.

But what happens when established lines have not been drawn?
Picture this….
First date, You’ve just finished dinner and the bill arrives at your table.
What do you do.
Its the twenty first century after all so does the guy pay does the girl pay or do you split the bill.
Personally I think splitting the bill on the first date is tacky, I do believe though that the girl should offer to pay.
So this is the dilemma!
I understand that many girls will declare that they don’t mind to pay and quite honestly neither do I but if I were really presented with a situation where your date sat and actually worked out my share of the bill I may think twice before accepting an offer for a second date.

My solution is that the person who suggests the activity should bare the financial burden. but that’s just me…
Tel me what you guys think or let me know if you have ever been caught in that situation.
I especially want the guys opinion on it

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~ by nosjunkie on January 24, 2007.

16 Responses to “It pays”

  1. Hmmm, ek hou baie van jou redenasies.
    Persoonlik voel ek soos jy. Maar ek is ‘n lesbeen. So my opinie moet met 3 knippies sout geneem word. Ek het dadelik die 1ste afspraak se rekening gevat met die doel om te betaal. En my klein wonderwerkie het mooi gevra om sy die helfte mag betaal. En ek het gevra is jy seker, en sy het ja gesê. Ek is meer as bereid vir ongelooflike baie dinge in die verhouding.

    En as sy enige hulp van enige aard aanbied, sal ek 1 keer vra:”Is jy seker?” En dan dit van daaraf vat. Ek waardeer haar so baie dat sy glad nie finansieel hoef by te dra nie, want net om in haar oë te kyk is betaling genoeg vir my. Maar kom ons wees eerlik. Geld groei op niemand se rug nie. Wel nie op myne nie. Ek het net paar verdwaalde haartjies, gister se middagete krummels en skoon gewasde vel op my rug….

  2. Hey Marra onese maatjie is jy terug
    ons het jou baie gemiss
    Daai girl van jou is ongelooflik lucky om jou te he.

  3. I totally agree with you, and this can be difficult depending on the person. My husband and I have a joint account for bills and savings which we split equally but seperate accounts for our own money.

    This way if he buy another ps2 game I don’t freak and the same if I get yet another pair of boots.

    When it comes to going out we just take turns to treat each other. As long as both sides pull thier wieght it works…

    With some people though its easier to pay just for yourself as they either sponge off you or make you feel guilty over a loaf of bread…

  4. Ek het julle ook vreeslik gemis! Skoon siek geraak van verlange. Heheheheh…ek is gelukkig om iemand soos sy aan my sy te hê!

  5. I also ask if I can help to pay, its true money does not grow on any bodies back….but then you get spongers….i hate those but I always seem to attract them…..for crying in a bucket……

  6. No body should ever sponge on anybody
    if you dont have money decline the offer!

  7. hmmm.. interesting topic. my roomy and i share all our costs just like u said, split across the middle. I think for a first date its perfectly simple and uncomplicated to split the bill. but it has to be done in a simple way. for a guy to fish out a calculator and give u change once you have paid him is definitely tacky. but we can share the cost. like say the bill is for 234 dollars, the girl could pay a 100. so what if its not split in the middle, we are sharing some part of the cost. moreover, it makes it simple for one to say no to a second date if thats needed 🙂

    glad u like my blog. do visit more!

  8. I had two dates with one guy back in college..first date, he brought me to the Dairy Queen (similar to McD’s) and had a coupon!! Next time we went out, we went to the flea market and he asked me for gas money. Another guy, different time, asked me out and didn’t bring enough money to pay for everything (dinner and movie type, nothing fancy.) I agree that who asks should pay…but if you’re going to be chintzy on a first date, it doesn’t bode well for the rest.

  9. Claudia I hate to say this butI ahve to be honest, those guys would definatly not get a call back from me, I dont mind paying for dinner but gas thats cheep and I dont like a cheep guy, becuase ultimately I am looking for a guy who will be ablle to provide.
    Not because I need it but becaus in some way dating a guy is like screening a possible life mate.
    and in life I wouold like to have children one day and I need to know that the guy I inflickt this punishment on will be able to provide for me during my pregnancy and maternaty leave and will be able to be an equal pertner in providing for my childrens financial need.
    I dont like cheep guys

  10. I think I am old fashioned. If you ask me on a date to the place you want to go – your treat.
    In a realtionship I do agree on spliting and I think by having the joint account plus our own account is the way to go.

  11. personally, i usually insist on picking up the bab. dont know if it’s necessarily a guy thing, just my own thing. it’s not like im gonna cry if the girl offers to split the tab, of course 🙂

  12. Most dates consist of dinner and a movie, so if he pays for dinner, you catch the bill for the movie. Kapish. Sorted.

  13. the person that gave the invite should be the person paying for the bill, that is if the lady does not go over board with her order , if she does go over board then I would except her to pay for her portion.

    I like the pic

    pumkinEater

  14. I went on a ‘date’ the other night and when the bill came – i just paid. Call me old school.

    For first dates, i would never let the lady pay. if she insisted on paying half, i’d accept it to avoid any dispute (hate fighting over bills – even with friends/colleagues).

    She was appreciative and offered to pay for the lunch date that we are going on tomorrow – so i guess it worked 🙂

  15. We live together and are the proud parents of two spoilt cats.

    Cats rule! Laura and I are the proud parents of Lulu, who plays a supporting role in my newest post.

    Incidentally, I agree with you about the one with the idea carrying the financial burden, unless the other person wants to pay their share.

  16. First Date defently the man…. All the way… After that yeah sure split if ya wanna, all thou I’ll still prefer to pay thou.

    But just dare to say I cant because you dont have money when I invite you… Now that will be the day…

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